A month ago my mom died. It feels like it's been forever. It was so unexpected and fast that no one had time to say goodbye. There are a lot of unanswered questions still connected to her death and that makes it even harder to come to terms with her being gone. I still think about calling her and telling her something everyday. I think of all the plans that we had with her. She is still needed on earth and I hate not having her.
I know that she is happy and fine. I know that the "test" for her is over and that she did the best she could. I know she is in a better place now, but that doesn't help with missing her and the anger that comes with losing her.
My mom was an amazing woman and with her passing I have really had to look at my life and decide what things need to change. I need to be more kind, understanding, accepting and loving. So many people had wonderful things to say about my mom and I want to take those things they said about her and do them. She made people feel welcome and loved.
Man I miss her. Words can't even describe the pain or the feeling of loss. I never could have imagined that it felt like this. I hope that her spirit will always be around me and my kids. I hope that Eli will always remember her. And I hope that everyone with a mother who loves them really appreciate what they have.
